


Episode 1: Among Stars and Trials

by AceIrregular



Series: FireflyStuck Season 1 [2]
Category: Firefly, Homestuck
Genre: All of the ship teasing all of it, Betas deserve more AUs though, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-typical swearing, Condesce is still a jerk, Content Warning: Shooting, Deep Cover, F/F, F/M, Found Family, Gen, Get me to voice this, M/M, Multi, Other, Pale Companion!Karkat, Ungulo Darkleer is Equius Zahhak in case you don't get it, don't read this without parental guidance kids, featuring: the strider-vantas "we can't deal with our emotions" dance, heavily HEAVILY inspired by light me up like a lightning bug/lightning bug au, i mean probably, no kidding someone gets shot and it's not a good
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2018-12-18 16:28:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 10,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11878377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceIrregular/pseuds/AceIrregular
Summary: Space will be savedwhen the mind awakes,the witch sleeps,the void protects,and the traitor dies by time's hand.-Jade Harley's diary (page 1)UPDATE: This fic is undergoing a (quiet) quite major rewrite. Please stand by, and reread.





	1. Say "Enough" (or The Battle of Serenity Valley)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [light me up like a lightning bug](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1052978) by [CurlicueCal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CurlicueCal/pseuds/CurlicueCal). 



> I highly value your feedback! Please please comment anything you think of it.
> 
> Primary chapter titles are from Sondheim's "Everybody's got the right".

Lightning flashes as the rain pours down. You hear screams, death, and the ever pounding rain. Your name is Dave Strider and you are a total fucking idiot. Good thing you've got your sister with you preventing you from doing an acrobatic fucking pirouette out of the trench you’re sitting in, which would probably lose your entire war.

“Can I get some gorram air support, sergeant?” you ask Rose, gesturing at a giant skiff shooting your men down.

Rose, being practical as always, rips the lieutenant patch off of a fallen soldier. “This is Lieutenant Baker. Requesting air support!” She listens, then looks at you, disappointed. “They're not responding.”

Young Private Sassacre, the only soldier in your battalion still alive, is flipping the fuck out and being absolutely useless. Time to galvanize the troops. “Hey! Focus! They said Serenity Valley would be a fucking cakewalk. We made them choke on those words. We've done the impossible, and that makes us mighty. We're not gonna die. We can't die, Private. You know why? Because we are so very pretty. We are just too gorram pretty for any god out there to let us die. Huh? Look at that chiseled jaw. Huh? C'mon. Our angels are coming to blow them all to the hot place, then we’ll have won the day. We can do this." 

They smile weakly. “Thanks, cap.”

Rose gets off the radio. “They're not coming. It's too hot. They're bailing out, and we're to lay down arms.”

You rip off your shades. “What!?”

“We’re surrendering, Dave.”

“No we fucking aren't! We’re not letting Her Imperious Fish-Hitler-Bitch ‘unite’ the planets, right Private?” You glance over. They're dead. You grip Rose’s hand.


	2. You Can Get the Prize (or Shipwreck Looting)

_A shipwreck, 6 years later_  
_3 sweeps after the Battle of Serenity Valley and the ensuing 2x3 Prong Day (called Unification Day by Alliance sympathizers)_

  
You name is Rose Lalonde, the one, the only. You're floating around in space, ready to take some shipwrecked cargo back to the ship and have a proper psychiatric session with Dave. He really needs to speak to the Ambassador frankly about their mutual attraction. You watch as Dave blows up the door with the explosive adhesive Nepeta and Jade jury-rigged together. You smile despite yourself. They are an extremely adorable team. They make good weapons too. A crackle comes over your comm. You press a button on your gauntlet to receive it properly, and you're promptly bombarded by the sound of the man who might be your best friend, if your brother didn't count. You consider him your moirail, but Dave would flush you out the airlock if he heard you talk about troll romance applying to humans. That didn’t stop you from setting up a pile for feelings jams. You never call him ‘palemate’ or whatever anywhere near Dave, because you know full well he can read lips through two layers of glass. You look at Dave, and an image emerges from a green background, Dave in a ridiculous looking hood and cape…. then it's gone. These memory flashes have been growing stronger in recent months. You suspect everyone on your crew has been having them, but cannot know for sure. You continue moving, the back of your mind turning the image over and over.

"Everything looks good from here…” John says over your headset. You're about to respond, but then “Yes. Yes, this is a fertile land, and we will thrive.” You boggle vacantly at this particular shenanigan, then pull up the cockpit camera on your helmet. Before you get a good look, Dave assigns you a crate. While you grab it, John interjects “We will rule over all this land, and we will call it…‘This Land.’” Ah. Looking at the camera, you see he is playing with Casey the salamander and an as yet unnamed crocodile. While moving the crocodile, he roars in a sillier, deeper voice “I think we should call it ‘your grave!’”. The crocodile ‘bites’ Casey’s neck to which the salamander ‘replies’ “Ah! Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!” You strain trying not to laugh. You only manage to keep a handle on it until the crocodile voice returns with “Ha ha HA! Mine is an evil laugh! Now die!” You break into a fit of giggles and John finally realizes his comm was on. “Dammit, Rose! Why didn't you tell me? Are you watching me right now, seer?” You smile at your nickname and turn off the camera.

“No, of course not! Why would I be?” Your sarcasm is so thick you can almost taste it. John just laughs.

A moment later, your comm rings back into life with “Āi ya! Huài le.”[1] shouts John, probably realizing halfway through that you were still listening.

~~~

Your are now John Egbert, and the crew you pilot for needs to kuài qù hên yuân de dì fāng.[2] There's an alliance ship coming your way and you're looting from the dead. Alliance doesn't take too kindly to grave robbers. You patch yourself into everyone's headset with a few switch flicks and shout “Cap, incoming! Alliance cruiser on its way, right towards us.”

“Have they spotted us, John?” He only calls you by your first name when he's nervous or no one’s around and you're having one of his patented Strider Tender MomentsTM.

Your panic is evident in your voice as you stammer out a reply. “I-I don't know!”

“Have they hailed us, John?” He’s intentionally using your name now, he knows it keeps you focused.

“No. Definitely not. I'm shutting everything down! Stay still!” There's a bit of bickering over exactly how screwed everyone is while you get in contact with your sister in the engine room. “Blackout, Jade. We’re being pinged.”

Your sister’s voice chirps in your ear, picked up by her shirt mic.  “Shi![3] Going dark in three… two… one…” The ship goes black. “Uh… I can't get down from the switch ledge!”

“Sit tight xiâo mèi mèi[4], they’ll move on soon.” You hope they’ll move on soon. You resume your connection to the space suits in the middle of a Nepeta rant.

“I told you not to trust him! I told you! What kind of name is ‘Droog’ anyway?”

“Actually it means—,” Rose begins.

“Shut up, Lalonde! I don't give a flying hairball what it means. He was fishy from the start; and you know what cats do? They eat fish.”

“Uh, Nepeta? Can you perhaps calm down a bit?” You suggest, cringing into yourself.

“Are you getting pale fur me, lususpailer?” She snarls, like a tiger.

“No, I just think it'll be harder for them to find us if we maintain radio silence.”

“Egbert’s right. Move the cargo slowly and quietly.” Dave shuts Nepeta down before she can begin, probably with a glare from behind his sunglasses.

You all sit in silence for what seems like an age. As the alliance cruiser floats gently almost out of range, you breathe a large sigh of relief. That’s when you get scanned and the ship starts turning around. You start swearing like a sailor in Chinese, but you might just be throwing together random syllables. It's also a possibility you are simply trying to contain a frustrated scream and you just threw a pink turtle action figure at the wall. Again. Dave has already taken the initiative and has moved the crates inside already, likely doubly fast as soon as you started swearing.

“It’s all back on!” informs Jade, also already done with her task.

“Cry, baby, cry,” Dave says, reminding you that you have a job to do.

“Make your mother sigh, engaging the crybaby.” You do as you are told and set off the small can that emits a distress signal. The ship heads in the direction of the crybaby.

“Close the piece of litter airlock and get going, Egbert.” You do as she orders. She scares you, honestly.

“Hold on everyone,” you mumble. You leave the alliance behind.

~~~

Your name is Nepeta Leijon and you have the cargo.

As Rose takes off her helmet, she comments “That was an extremely close shave.”

“Any one you walk away furrom, right? Long as we got the goods, I’d tailly this up as win.”

Dave exchanges looks with Rose. “Right. We win.”

  
1\. Oh no! Something's wrong [back]  
2\. Go far away very fast  
3\. Yes (affirmative)[back]  
4\. Dear little sister[back]


	3. Interlude: Theme Song and Fake Credits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since y'all have been a good audience, with THREE KUDOS ALREADY, here's a bonus chapter.

DAVE: take my love take my land  
KARKAT: TAKE ME WHERE I CANNOT STAND  
ROSE: I don't care, I'm still free.  
JOHN: you can't take the sky from me

JADE: take me out to the black  
KANAYA: Tell Em I Aint Coming Back  
TEREZI: BURN TH3 L4ND, BO1L TH3 S34  
NEPETA: >:33 < you cant take the sky from me

DARKLEER: <-69-> There’s no place I can be  
ALL: Since I found Serenity  
You can't take the sky from me

  
Regular Cast:  
Nathan Reynolds as “Dave Strider” (Mal)  
Omar Baccarin as “Karkat Vantas” (Inara)  
Gina Alleyne as “Rose Lalonde” (Zoë)  
Alan Washburne as “John Egbert” (Wash)  
Jewel Frye as “Jade Harley” (Kaylee)  
Sally Maher as “Kanaya Maryam” (Simon)  
River Glau as “Terezi Pyrope” (River)  
Jane Baldwin as “Nepeta Leijon” (Jayne)  
Henry Glass as “Ungulo Darkleer" (Equius Zahhak) (Book)

Guest Cast:  
Carlos Dobson as "Spades Slick/?????" (Dobson)  
Mark Badger as "Diamonds Droog" (Badger)  
Bendis Adams as "Sassacre” (Private)


	4. Pick Your Apple (or The Cargo)

Your name is Captain Dave Strider, irony _master_. You are opening the box of looted contraband.

“They’re awful pretty!” laughs a voice from over your shoulder that belongs to the one and only Jade Harley.

The box is full of bars that look like the high quality alloy that makes the best hull. Jackpot. You pick one up and examine it, pushing your shades down infinitesimalsly. Your crew bickers behind you.

“Looks like it was worth the risk!” Egderp rejoices, missing the point.

“Sure was some risky sitting you did there,” Nepeta comments, sarcastically. She has a bit of a point.

“Oh, of course they wouldn't arrest me, I'm just the pilot. I could always say I was flying the ship by accident, happens all the time I expect. Alliance comes across some ship, some former independent pilot is flying it. ‘Oh, sir, let us just move on past you—’” You hold up a hand. John stops talking.

“Is something wrong, sir?” Rose asks, looking at the bar as well. There is. You put your glasses back in their normal position and nod subtly. She returns it.

“Can’t say,” you lie to your watching crew. “Better drop them off at Prospero before Alliance catches our scent.” Nepeta gives you a thumbs up at your slight cat reference. You give her a thumbs up back then walk over to John. The rest of your group discuss what they’re going to buy. “Egbert, good job back there.” He beams at you.

“Thanks, boss!” Darn him and his adorable buck tooth smile. You can't dash his hopes by telling him what you noticed.

“When will we arrive at Prospero?”

“In three or four hours, probably three.”

“Can we cut that?”

“No, we need parts. Jade can tell you which ones, but I can tell you, Serenity won't fly for too much longer the way she is right now.”

“Alright.” You turn your attention to Nepeta and Rose. “Stow the cargo. We’re getting passengers at Prospero, no arguing.” Nepeta was about to object, but your orders stopped her. “Egbert, tell Droog we got the goods.”

Nepeta mutters under her breath “Pain in the ass…”

“No, it's shiny! I like to meet new people. They've all got stories!” Jade beams her buck tooth grin at the everyone, lighting up the entire cargo bay.

Nepeta groans, only half-joking and says “Captain, can you stop her from bein' cheerful, please?”

“I don't believe there is a power in the 'verse that can stop Harley ofrom being cheerful.” You truly don't believe that anything can stop Jade, ever. She’s a ball of sunshine. Your ball of sunshine. The Ambassador’s ball of sunshine. John’s ball of sunshine. Nepeta’s ball of sunshine. Truly just everyone’s ball of sunshine. “Sometimes you just wanna duct tape her mouth and dump her in the hold for a month.”

“I love my captain.” Jade kisses your cheek and you blush, far more than you intended to i.e. at all.

The crew all disperse to their respective duties and you do the same.

~~~

You are once again John Egbert. You walk down the hall with your ‘secret moirail’. She’s worried, you can tell. “Is everything alright?”

Rose turns to face you and puts her hand on your shoulder. “John, we're crooks. If everything were alright, we'd be in jail.” You shrug.

“Can’t argue with that, I suppose.” You continue walking in a pleasant silence, arms linked. When you reach the cockpit, you gesture for her to sit down while you retrieve the pink turtle you threw at the wall. It was the one she bought for you, and you'd hate for it to be broken. It isn’t, and you toss it to Rose. She catches it without looking up from a book she pulled from nowhere. Your captain walks in, absolutely cool and collected.

“Lalonde, beep the Ambassador. Let him know we might leave Prospero in a hurry.” Rose nods at you, and you leave the cockpit, letting her get some time with the captain. You send a message to Karkat, signing it with a spade. He’ll know what it means.

~~~

You are the one and only Rose Lalonde again. “Alliance signatures on the cargo?” You query, and Dave nods.

“Three-pronged trident engraved on the bottoms.”

“We just have to hope Droog doesn't notice.”

He shakes his head, sunglasses sliding down his nose. “Little chance of that. DD is clever.” You can tell he rolls his eyes as he moves them back into place.

~~~

Your name is Karkat Vantas. You receive a message from John, mid-pack. Your client, one Deluna Zerdin, is sleeping. You scowl as your speaker crab beeps, excusing yourself from the room to play the message. As you leave, you remember…. your speaker crab? But there's someone on the floor across from where you're sitting in a chair. Someone you love and respect deeply. But before you see their face, it's gone. An automated rendition of John’s voice reads it.

“We’re going to Prospero ahead of schedule, finish up soon please! Cargo is acquired, don’t worry. Signed, John. Spade.”

Well. The nonsequiter spade at the end means this is urgent. Even though his voice is synthetic, fabricated by your speaker crab, he's still irritating as hell. He is your unofficial kismesis, you've been hatecrushing on him since you first met him. He only acknowledges that in an emergency. You quickly pack up the pile of pillows you had half finished and walk back into your shuttle. Miss Deluna had insisted that you had down your pale activities in her home, not your shuttle. At least that meant that she could finish her sleep. You leave a note, signed with a diamond with a circle inside it, the signature of pale companions. She's already payed her bill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can guess the theme for the planets, you get your a name of your choice featured in a future chapter!


	5. Means They Listen to You (or Landing)

You are now John Egbert. When your transmission is done, you come back into the cockpit. “Done!” You pull off a silly salute and you see Dave’s flat expression quirk up a tiny bit. You beam in return.

Rose, ever practical, interjects “We still need to drop the goods, John.”

“And when we do, we fly off to Caliban rich and prosperous. Well, less poor.” You stick your tongue out. Rose also quirks a smile. No one can beat you in a comedy-off. You are simply the best there is.

~~~

Your name is Dave Strider, irony king once again. The ship has landed, you’re already barking orders as you descend the catwalk steps. “Harley, you're on passenger detail, entice them on with your sunshine personality.” Nepeta has already fired up Blinkbottom, Serenity’s truck, and is waiting for the cargo bay doors to open. “Good, Leijon, you're with me dealing with Droog.” No use for first names when giving orders. “Egbert, you get a list of parts from Harley, see if we can fix up Serenity while we're here.” Rose is in her Independent’s brown coat with the sun symbol on the shoulder. You hardly ever take yours off. “Lalonde, you're on screening duty. Harley’s a bit trusting.” She nods, and pulls her book from heck knows where. You never know how she does that. You remember something, a word in a book. A purple MEOW… it's gone before you remember anything else. You roll your eyes. These memory flashes are always ridiculous, inconvienient, and non-sequiter.

“Ready to roll, Cap’n?” Nepeta says, saluting. When she's relaxed like this, it's easy to forget that she was the most feared mercenary in the outer rings for a long time. You nod. You have a feeling this isn't going to go the way you want it to.


	6. Make a Dollar (or Diamonds Droog Refuses to Negotiate)

Your name is Dave Strider and of course, your instincts are correct. Nepeta is growling, like a lioness ready to spring. “Exactly why aren't you taking these purrfectly fine goods?”

Droog laughs, dryly. **It ain't my place to say** he says. **Crime and politics, little grub: the situation is always... fluid.** You hate how he speaks through narration.

She bristles even more at being called a grub. “The only fluid I see here is you! The puddle of foul-smelling cat piss refusing to pay us our wage!” You put one hand on her shoulder, a warning. She bats it off, but calms down.

 **Ha, just like in the war. Captain Dave Strider, Time and Light brigade. Still a soldier in charge of his men. A man of honor in a den of thieves.** Droog’s as human as you are, but he's slick and shiny, something your past would never let you be. **I'm not taking this alloy** he tells you. **You could always try Meenah, Mister Strider**.

“Fine. See you around, DD.” You remember Meenah, and she's always good for a deal. It doesn't matter that she stabbed your best bro John, does it? You'll ask him.

  
~~~

You are Nepeta Leijon and you're still mad as you walk with your captain out of the den of iniquity that is Diamonds Droog’s deal den. “Ten percent of nothing is, let me do the math here, nothing into nothing, carry the nothing...”

“Leijon, your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that.” You can tell he's joking, but you shut up anyway. You don't trust Double D as far as you can throw him, which, not to brag, is pretty fucking far. But he doesn't lie outright, not when manipulation is easier. A staticky memory shifts and you see a flash of an eight ball and…. it’s gone. You've been having those memories as long as you can remember. You've only spoken to Jade about them, and she says she has similar experiences. You wonder about the rest of the crew, in the few quiet moments there are in this crazy life.

But back to the present. “Why wouldn't DD take the gorram cargo?”

Your captain, someone who you are loyal to for as long as he’ll keep you, looks shifty. He picks at the red gear on his jacket, his training signifier. Nobody these days really remembers what it meant, except for Dave and Miss Lalonde. Perhaps Egbert too, but he doesn't have a brown coat. “Alliance stamp. Too easy to trace.” He kicks a pebble, then boards Blinkbottom. You follow.


	7. Grab 'Em by the Collar (or The Passengers)

_Meanwhile at the entrance to Serenity…._

Your name is Rose Lalonde. Jade is wearing her hair in a panda ear-like fashion, and a beautiful green and flowered shirt. It’s her one nice shirt, and she's wearing the usual grease-stained cargo pants. She doesn't own any skirts, and you know she feels silly in cargo pants with such a nice shirt. You reassure her from behind your book “You look fine, Jade. Calm down, you're more charismatic when you're not distraught.” She smiles at you and sits down with her parasol. You smile behind your novel. It's trashy, but living on a spaceship doesn't lend itself to exemplary literature. You settle in.

~~~

You are now Jade Harley! When the monk approaches, you smile at him, your cheeriest. Rose is deep in her book, and seems to be lost in her own world. “You're coming with us,” you say brightly.

The troll looks taken aback. He pushes his broken sunglasses gently up his nose. “What?”

“You _could_ pick any other ship taking passengers to Caliban, but I know you're coming with us. Serenity is the best ship there is, ain’t no finer. Besides, we would be kuáng zhê de [1]to refuse a little Sufferer aboard.”

He smiles at you and you fist pump within the privacy of your head. “You make a compelling case.”

“Thank you!”

He pulls a box out of his pocket discreetly. Your curiosity is piqued. “I also have these, do you think we can do something with them?” He opens the box.

“Woah! Shiny!”

~~~

Your name is Kan— Dolorosa Maryam. You're nervous, sweating through your fine dress. Your luggage, your most important luggage, needs to be handled with care and discretion or…. you take deep breaths. Calm, cool, and collected. That's you. That's why—no, don't think about her. Your face will give you away. Searching through the stalls and ships, you find one going to Caliban. It's a richer planet, perhaps one where you can—no, think about what is happening, not what could happen. It's about the fifth ship when you see her. She's gorgeous, and you're not usually into humans. Seeing her causes a flash of memory, the smell of rose-scented perfume and alcohol then…. gone. You shake it off. Blonde hair, brown coat, trashy romance novel. Just your type. This is going to be harder than you expected.

“Miss?”

You look to the left of the woman and there is a younger one, black haired and cargo pant-ed. You summon your composure and say “Yes?”. You're sure you were drooling over the blonde haired woman in a most embarrassing fashion.

“Would you like to come with us?” The girl’s smile is infectious.

“Yes, if you will take me and my luggage. With the utmost discretion, you understand.”

“Always.” She tilts her head at your vest and fine dress. “Are you…. a doctor?”

“Yes.”

“Ooooooo, what's that like?”

~~~

Once again you are the one and only Rose Lalonde. You look up from your novel seeing Jade speaking animatedly with a beautiful troll woman in a fine dress. You feel your cheeks grow hot. You dive back into your book. This is going to be harder than you expected.

1\. Foolish[back]


	8. Not the Sun (or On The Way)

While one Spades Slick loads up his luggage, you have a quick conference with John. “Are you okay that we’re going to Meenah to drop the loot?”

“Bì zuî[1] Dave, it’s been a long time since Meenah stabbed me and that was due to a perfectly legitimate conflict of interest. I’ve got no grudge against her.”

“The conflict of interest being?” Egbert and Harley are both too trusting. Only they would forgive someone who stabbed them.

“She wanted to stab me, I didn't want to be stabbed.” He shrugs. You shake your head.

~~~

You've been avoiding Miss Maryam, as you learn her last name is, the entire time she's on the ship. Karkat arrived and immediately stole Jade away, leaving you with mostly Dave to talk to. “So now we have a plethora of citizens right on top of our... stolen cargo. That's a fun mix.”

“No way in the ‘verse they could find that compartment, Rose, even…” Ms. Maryam walks past, and you shove your nose in your book. Dave had paused anyway, she was not involved. “Even if they were looking for it.”

“Why not?” You raise an eyebrow.

“Because... ?”

“Oh, this is going to go splendidly.” Your sarcasm, incredibly thick, drips with small expectations.

“If anyone gets nosy, just, you know... shoot 'em.” Dave shrugs, smoothly disguising his lack of a plan.

“Shoot 'em?” You mimic his phrasing, mockingly.

“Politely.”

~~~

Your name is Ungulo Darkleer, though it hasn't always been. You still struggle with your monk garb, not that anyone notices. Giving up your hemopectrum fixation and long hair were both difficult, and still difficult to adjust to. It made you a better person, though. You work with Miss Harley, preparing the valuable items you brought from the abbey. “The important thing is the spices. A man can live on packaged food from here ’til Judgment Day if he’s got enough rosemary.” She adds more at your insistence.

“Harley, where’d you put the—” A face from your past walks right into the kitchen, and stops. You turn away. You can't face her, not after your failure. Not after these long six sweeps. “Who's the preacher?”

“Shepherd Darkleer! He brought strawberries!” Harley shows off your gift to the ship, and Ne—the stranger wearing your past’s face reaches for one.

“Shiny…” Harley bats her hand away.

“These are for dinner!”

“But—!”

“No arguing!”

You chuckle silently, busying your hands with cooking. You'll speak to the stranger later. She can't possibly remember, can she?

~~~

Your name is Nepeta Leijon and you remember... You remember growing up in the troll slums before the alliance, before Serenity, before trolls had any modicum of respect. It was terrible, and frightening, but you had…. you had….. you had someone. Someone grew up with you, you cared for them, saved them from themself. But who? It was more than twelve years ago. Your hands shake as you bicker with Jade, but…. but you don't know why. The preacher never faces you, never catches your eye, but…. there's something. Something you can't pinpoint. Something you knew. A long time ago.

~~~

You are Jade Harley. “Dinner is served!” you say, beaming at everyone. Everyone, you notice, except Karkat. You had already had a short chat with him, and indulging him by letting him weave flowers into your hair. You've saved a plate for him, though. The passengers are sitting on your side, across from the crew. Your conversations with all of them has given you enough information for a short biography, except for Mr. Noir. “Will you introduce yourselves to everybody?”

Miss Maryam begins. “K—” she coughs “Dolarosa Maryam, doctor.”

“Shepherd Darkleer, Sufferer monk.” He avoids Nepeta’s scrutiny.

 **Spades Slick, just trying to live a life.** It's not funny, but everyone laughs, just to break the tension.

You've sat down by this point, and are about to dig into your beautiful culinary cooperative creation. “Captain, do you mind if I say grace?” Shepherd Darkleer asks Dave. You look at him expectantly, mentally pleading for him to be nice to the guests for once.

“Only if you say it out loud.” And there we go. You'd kick him under the table, but you're sure you'd miss.

~~~

You are Karkat Vantas and you're pretty fucking pissed. You're also, distracted, mostly by the fact that you might have to find a client on Marcade, Meenah’s planet, a world as backwater as an reversed river. Official companions charge a set price, with no lowering or haggling. Would anyone there be able to even afford you? Except obviously Meenah, but you reserve the right to refuse service from someone who stabbed your ~~friend hatecrush~~ _colleague_. An unfamiliar voice, deep, but kind, says simply “Knock, knock”

“Who’s there?”

“Shepherd Darkleer”

“Shepherd Darkleer who?” You're a bit more peeved, to say the very least. Shepherds almost entirely disapprove of companion services, no matter the quadrant.

The voice laughs, a joyful rumble. “I didn't realize this was a joke.”

You sweep across the curtain of your shuttle and find a tall troll, short hair in a small ponytail, “indigo” armband signifying blood color and symbol*….. and surprise surprise, a sufferer necklace. “So. Would you like to lecture me on the wickedness of my ways?” You really don't like Sufferer worshippers. You have the same blood color as the Sufferer, yeah yeah, you've heard it all. If that shit is true, you're secretly the creator of all humans. It's part of the reason you have a gray armband with no symbol. The other part is that you’d be killed, but that's beside the point.

Darkleer chuckles. “No, I brought you supper. Although if you'd prefer a lecture, I have a few very catchy ones prepped. Sin and hellfire... one has lepers.”

You smile, genuinely, but there's still a tinge of ice. “I think I'll pass.”

“You don't know what a leper is, do you?”

“Not a fucking clue.”

~~~

You are once again John Egbert and you fuss with your hair, trying to flatten out a few cowlicks, but to no avail. There's hardly anything for a pilot to do when the course is a straight line. You double check your course, then just look at your collection of action figures. Pink turtle from Rose, red crocodile from Dave, blue iguana from Jade, and the one who started it all…. Casey. You think about your metaphorical daughter, remembering when you got her. Before the war, at least twenty years ago, a store. You tugged your xiâo mèi mèi[2] into it, and found Casey. Jade found a dog ears headband, which she wore nonstop until her head got too big. But why did you name the salamander Casey? You don't — a flash of recollection, a song and a father reuniting with his loving wife and daughter. There's a… bunny?? It's gone before you know exactly why it was relevant. You hum the two bars of music, holding on to them.

It's when you've solidified the notes in your memory that you notice the signal, emerging from the ship, straight to the alliance. Your ship. You didn't send it, which means someone sold you out. All this goes through your mind in a moment, and you almost immediately start blocking the signal. You can't know how far it got. “Tā mā de.[3]”

You once again flip the switches patching you once again through to Dave. You hear some ruckus, which resembles Dave trying to fire up his Earth-that-was turntable. It's an antique, likely a gift from his brother. Your captain only composes occasionally, and when he does, he seldom shares. You interrupt the racket with “Cap. Someone sold us out.”

 

 

 

1\. Shut up[back]  
2\. Dear little sister up[back]  
3\. Oh shit[back]

* Worldbuilding footnote: Trolls had always worn their blood on their sleeves, as it were, with occasional allowances for those who wished to remain anonymous. After Unification/2x3 Prong day, this became law. Anonymity is still legal, barely, but only for government officials and companions, those too useful for the condescension to persecute.[back]


	9. Take a Bite (or The Rat)

Your name is Dave Strider. You drop the turntable unceremoniously on the table, probably damaging it. That doesn't matter, because someone has told the gorram alliance where you are! You swear, and take your shades off, turning them over and over in your hands. If John were able to see you as well as hear you, you know he'd be frightened by you taking off your shades, not just because of your freakish red eyes, but because you only do that if you think you're going to die.

Your brother taught you to be ready to die open and yourself, and you don't think you'll ever forgive him for putting you through that, not really. He put you through hell with his own smuggling business, even before the Alliance-Independent War. Smuggling Earth-That-Was antiques was dangerous business, only collectors wanted to remember it, so trafficking those goods was highly penalized. Then it was penalized by the Condesce for reminding humans of better times. But Dirk lived on the dangerous side, along with his friends. You think they might be still out there, but you don't want to find out for sure, in case you're right. Or wrong. You don't know which would be worse.

That's not important right now. What's important is the suspicious troll doctor is an Alliance spy, and you're all going to die. You shove your shades back on and tell John to radio Rose as you rush to the cargo bay. Time to see what she’s hiding.

~~~

Your name is K- _Dolarosa_ Maryam. You need to check on her. She might not be alright in there, the sedative might have worn off, maybe she’s awake and screaming at the soundproof walls. You're already down there when Captain Strider storms in, XO1 Lalonde on his heels. You instinctively back away and put your hands up, the universal gesture of surrender. Strider unholsters his gun and raises it to your forehead. Your eyes plead at Lalonde, but she looks away. He's very calm, too calm for the situation. “The way I see it, you have two options. You tell us who you are and why you just gave us away to the Alliance, or you don't. You won't like the latter.”

You're about to lie when you hear a gun cocking from in front of you. **I’d advise you to put your hands up, boy. We wouldn't anyone to lose their head.** Your focus shifts, and there's Spades Slick, eyes icy.

Strider raises his arms slowly, his gun leaving its position at your head. It’s a small relief, since Slick is aiming squarely at your chest. Not here for you anyhow. I’m here for her. His eyes turn to you and you shudder.

The captain lowers his arms and looks quite surprised and relieved. “Hey, is there a reward?” Miss Lalonde’s face falls into a waiting palm.

Spades leers. **Why don’t you tell him, sweetheart? Why don’t you tell him what little old Jack Noir gets for turning in wanted kidnapper, Kanaya Maryam?**

  
1 Executive Officer


	10. You Won't Prevail (or The Plunge)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter where someone gets shot. Tread carefully. I love you.

You are Shepherd Darkleer. You hear a commotion from the cargo hold. You pause at the sink, stop washing dishes, and listen.

**Why don’t you tell him, sweetheart? Why don’t you tell him what little old Jack Noir gets for turning in wanted kidnapper, Kanaya Maryam?**

It sounds dangerous. You abandon your post and creep into the hold, your training taking over. You wait and bide your time

“I’m no kidnapper, I was saving her!!” The Maryam woman. She has lowered her hands, they ball into fists.

 **Ohoho that's not what I heard…** He steps forward, and pulls rope from gods know where. That's when Jade comes through the door at the front of the cargo hold behind and to the left your position, out of your line of sight.

“What—”

Jack, far too jittery, jumps and shoots her. **Fu-** You tackle him mid-oath. The gun is swiftly kicked away in the flurry of limbs as you carefully, methodically break his arm. He lets out a gasp of pain and you wince, this brings back bad memories. You knock him out soon after.

“JADE!” Karkat practically jumps the entire flight of stairs to run to her side. His robes flutter around her, almost changing this terrible scene into something beautiful. Captain Strider also runs to her side, swearing the air blue.

Ne-the muscle of the ship runs toward Noir. You stand your ground and make eye contact for the first time in 6 sweeps. “No.”

“He gorram shot her!” Her face shows no sign of recognition, a relief, but also a curse. You get a momentary flash of the same face, smiling at you, wearing the hat you gave her. But it's not your slum you're in, it's somewhere else. And it's gone.

“You’re not killing this man.”

“Not right away…”

“He’s no threat.” Seeing her so ready to kill someone, and not remembering you, makes your heart break. As if it weren't already broken.

~~~

You are Jade Harley and you feel a piercing pain in your stomach, and you go down. Nepeta brushes past you as you fall, running to your shooter. As you hit, your glasses fly off and you blurrily see Karkat’s gray face over you, his robes flapping. “Jade. Jade. Listen to me. Stay with me.”

Dave’s face edges into your view. “Jade!" You can tell this is urgent, they aren't bickering.

Miss Maryam is now above you as well, opening your shirt where the bullet entered. “Can you feel your legs?”

“...no.” Your voice sounds very small and very distant.

John’s voice comes over the speakers, panicked. “The Feds have ordered us to stay on course to Caliban, and to drop off the doctor, Kanaya Maryam.”

Kanaya, that's her real name, stands up, and stops tending to you. Your vision is getting blurrier. “Turn the ship around.”

“What?! I have half-a-mind to flush you out right now for getting Jade shot, but you can save her, so I think that makes us even.” Dave’s facade has broken. He’s absolutely furious.

“I won't. Not unless you turn us around.” Kanaya is firm.

“You'd let her die?”

“Yes.”

“You're a doctor! Do your job! If you'd don't save her, you won't even make it to the Feds!”

“She’ll still be dead.” She's not going to budge.

“Dave,” you manage to say.

Karkat strokes your hair. He’s quiet, but insistent. “Dave, do it.”

Dave growls and turns on the intercom to shout at John. “Turn is around, get us away from the Feds.”

“Aye aye.” John clicks off the radio.

Everything is getting fuzzy. You blink, but your eyes stay shut. And everything goes….. black.


	11. Maybe One of its Beams (or Coping)

“Fuck you, Dave! You could have easily stopped him and you fucking didn't!” You both care for Jade, but apparently he doesn't care enough to stop her getting shot!

“What's your excuse, Karkat!? Out whoring!?” Dave shouts back at you, pulling out all the stops.

“Well at least I don't anger the kind of people who will get me shot!”

“That's because you're a fucking pap-whore!”

“Fuck you!”

“You too!”

You sweep out of the cargo hold and into the med bay where Jade lies asleep, while Kanaya tends to her. “Is she going to be alright?”

“Likely as not. I cannot do anything more for her until your mercenary returns with my medical kit.” Just as she says that, Nepeta rushes in, growling. She’s carrying a large red bag, the same shade as human and your blood.

She shoves it into Kanaya’s arms. “You damn well better fix her.”

“I will endeavor to do so.” She’s a wanted criminal, but with a vocabulary of an empress and the poise of a dancer. She mentioned a ‘her’, presumably the one she kidnapped.

“See that you do.” Nepeta leaves, but only a few moments later, you see her yellow eyes peeking from the vent near the ceiling. Well… everybody loves Jade. She's the heart of the crew. Without her, none of you will stay together for long.

~~~

“Nî tā mā de, Tiān xià suô yôu de rén dōu gāi sî!”[1] You kick the co-pilot’s chair savagely, really doing nothing except hurting your foot. “Tā mā de, tā mā de, tā mā de!”[2] Your sister is hurt, you are utterly useless, you are having the worst day of your entire life! Dave’s just sitting in the pilot’s seat, turning the blue iguana from Jade over and over in his hands. Serenity is aimless, simply flying away from the Alliance. You absently wonder how Rose is dealing with all this.

~~~

You tied up Noir while he was still unconscious, with help from the shepherd. He was way too skilled in combat for a man of the cloth, and that gives you something to ponder. He's definitely not what he seems. You remark on his skill with the knot. “Do preachers come with military standard knot-tying capabilities or did we spring for the deluxe package?”

He momentarily looks confused. Many trolls have issues with “human sarcasm”, this one appears to be one of that stripe. “Is this human sarcasm?”

Yep, your suspicions are correct. He certainly hasn't spent many time around humans, at least, not any humans you'd care to know. “No.” At least toying with him will stop your worrying about Jade.

~~~

While you’re unconscious, you dream the dreams you do every night: of clouds with possibly prophetic visions, of the empty empty streets of a city of gold. Often, the clouds show you boring day-to-day, maybe your opponent’s hands in card games. Yesterday they showed you static, and today is more of the same. But yesterday you were left with a message, you wrote it down in your diary. You float around the golden city in a daze, similar to the usual, but even if you try, you can't focus, nor process your situation. You wander through buildings, aimless, perhaps searching for something, _someone_. You end up in the other tower, and it looks like the one you always wake up in, in this odd place. The set-up is the same, but the bed is empty. You have a flash of recollection, or possibly prophecy. You see the room, but there are scribbled insults which you've crossed out and replaced with helpful messages. Someone’s in the bed, but it's gone before you can tell. You continue to drift around. You will likely forget this when or _if_  you wake.

 

1\. Dammit, everyone under the sun ought to die![back]

2\. Fuck, fuck, fuck![back]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your favorite gun-toting little sister appears next chapter. Who is she? I already told you, pay attention. I'm going to pull a bit of a fix-fic, disability-wise. Terezi's blindness was poorly handled in Homestuck (I think), I'm going to try do better here. I'm also going to do better with the whole "insanity" thing. Trust me, but if get something wrong, TELL ME!


	12. Scream and Holler (or Sister)

You are now Dave Strider. By now, everybody has gravitated to the medbay, you included, to see how Jade is holding up. Kanaya removes her surgical graves and says simply “I can’t do much more for her until she wakes up. She’s stable, and the bullet is out, but there might still be some damage we can't see.”

Nepeta, quite reasonably fed up with her, says “What I don't understand is what’s so gorras impurrtant that you'd be willing to kill Jade. I vote we find out.” With that, she starts quickly making her way to the cargo hold.

“No, don't!” Kanaya runs after her, impractical dress swishing around her legs.

 _Fuck_ is the only articulate thought you have as everybody, even you, follows the pair.

~~~

You name is Nepeta Leijon. You are first in line and you skid around corners, causing sparks to shower from the exposed nails on the bottoms of your boots. Good for you that nothing is terribly flammable on Serenity, or you'd be dooming the entire crew over ~~a hatecrush you’ve been nursing for at least a sweep~~ an uppity passenger. You hear John, far behind you say “Nepeta, how about we just think about this for two seconds!” You burst into the hold, quite a feat, as it has no doors, except for the giant hatch, which if you burst through right now, would kill everyone nearly instantly. The shepherd comes in soon after you. You choose not to think about how many ways there are to die right now, and start looking for the doctor’s cargo. Your hands and eyes fly over the different crates, scanning for names. You find the crate just as Kanaya comes in, wheezing, and completely unable to speak, or stop you.

You drag it to the middle and everybody files in, Captain Strider with his gun at your back. “Step away, Leijon. Let me handle this.” You obediently step away, you may be a loose cannon, but you're not an idiot. You are extremely loyal to your captain, you'd probably trade your life for his if it came to it. He steps forward and presses the button to open the crate.

“She's not ready, I didn't calibrate it to open this soon, please don't!” Kanay is helplessly restrained by John, who apologizes to her every few seconds.

The top of the crate lifts with hydraulic slowness. Inside is a sleeping troll woman, slightly younger than Kanaya, wearing nothing but a black tank top with matching shorts, and a teal armband. You involuntarily touch your own green band, it seems that the Condesce’s influence reaches everywhere, even to the comatose.

~~~

Your name….  
Your name….  
Your name is….  
You don't know your own name. You don't know what you're doing here in this terrifying place, people are shouting and you just start to scream and _scream_  and **_scream_**.

~~~

You are now Rose Lalonde, the one and only. When the crate is open, almost everyone starts speaking at once. You don't say anything, not yet.

“My word,” says the preacher, being very unhelpful.

Dave, at first, is speechless, as is Nepeta. But Dave says “A woman?? Oh, I see, it's a fucked up sex thing.” This is only half serious, but he's panicking, you can tell. Not even all of the irony in the world would cover this up.

Karkat simply says “Fuck…” at first, then in response to your brother says “Dave, what the hell, this is not the time!"

“Wô men wán le.”[1] John lets go of Kanaya in shock, and Kanaya runs to the woman, who has left the crate, is on all fours, and is shrieking a bit like a monkey.

She kneels down, speaking in a calming tone. “Shhhhh. Shhhhhh. Terezi, it's me. It's Kanaya. You're safe here. You're safe.” She pulls the still-shaking girl into a hug, still murmuring to her. ~~Damn, Kanaya is so strong and gorgeous. You want to kiss her so badly.~~ You are not thinking of that now.

 

 

1\. We’re in big trouble; it’s all over for us; we’re doomed[back]


	13. Be a Scholar (or Recovery)

Once again, you are Dave Strider in the medbay. It’s a lot less crowded this time, since only Kanaya and her sister are with you. Jade’s awake and has been filled in on the situation, and Kanaya’s sister is slumbering peacefully on a modified shelf.

“You need anything?” you ask Jade, holding her hand.

“No, I’m okay.” Her face lights up with a mischievous glint. “But I'd sure like a new compression coil for the steamer.” Ship jargon, but ship jargon you can't afford.

“And I'd like to be king of all Romeo and wear a shiny hat. It's not happening, Jade, at least not till we turn in the goods at Marcade.” You absently rub the back of her hand with your thumb.

“If it busts, we’ll be dead in the water.” An uncharacteristic scowl mars her usually cheerful face.

“Best not bust, Harley.” The scowl stays. “But I promise we’ll replace it as soon as we can afford it. Deal?” You backpedal hastily, a mad Jade would make everyone's lives miserable.

“Deal!” She shakes the hand you’ve been holding, smile returning to her face. Your eternal poker face slants up ever so slightly.

You let go of her hand and turn to Kanaya, who is checking Terezi’s pulse. At least you think that’s what she’s doing. You were never really clear on troll anatomy. Do they even have a pulse? Do they even _have_ a heart? You mean in the literal sense, not the metaphorical sense. You’ll ask Nepeta later, after you dump both passengers and cargo and everything returns to normal. “You’re explaining all of this in the canteen when you’re done. Fill in Jade while you’re still down here. I don’t want her out of the loop.”

“I can speak for myself!”

“I didn’t hear you say anything to her ‘fore I did.” Your response shuts down that little spat before it starts.

Kanaya simply nods. You leave the room.

~~~

Finally, you are simply _Kanaya_ Maryam. Just yourself, no disguise. Everybody, minus Jade, your sister, and Jack Noir, is looking at you expectantly, all seated at the table. Having so many eyes on you makes so you very nervous.

Especially because Leijon says “If her explanation ain’t good enough, do I get to kill ‘er?”

John, the one who apologetically held you back earlier, says “Can we maybe vote on the whole murdering people issue?” This doesn’t completely erase your fears, but it is nice to see _someone_ on this ship cares about your well-being aside from Jade.

“This ain’t a democracy, it’s a gorram ship. As captain, I suggest…” he whispers to John for a moment. “I suggest nî men dōu bì zuî!”

John mutters something to Captain Strider, who looks a bit apologetic. Then John says “It means ‘everybody shut the hell up.’” There’s more quiet bickering from Dave and John.

You cough, as politely as you can. Everyone is quiet. You cough again, for real this time, from the nervousness. “Well, we got a letter from a school, an Alliance-sponsored academy, I’d never even heard of it but it had the most exciting program for her. She wanted to study law, and I had tutored her as much as I could but this academy offered so much more. They had gone to _her_. She wanted to learn. She was eleven.” John raises his hand, as does the Shepherd. It reminds you of medical school and you almost forget that in this instance you are the ‘teacher’, as it were. “Yes, Shepherd…”

“Darkleer, ma’am.” He nods a small acknowledgement and smiles. It makes you feel a bit better about your vulnerability up here.

“Shepherd Darkleer. What is your question?”

“What is your sister’s,” Tthe word sounds odd coming from his mouth. “name?”

“Terezi. Terezi Pyrope. John, your question?” You don’t want to talk about how you became sisters. It’s a bittersweet memory, but far more bitter than sweet.

“You said eleven. Is that sweeps, or years?” John is still sitting next to the captain on the table, their arms around each other’s shoulders.

“Sweeps.” You don’t know why he asked, and you’re not sure you want to. You take a deep breath and continue. “I got a few letters at first, then I didn’t hear for almost a sweep. Finally I got a letter that made no sense. She talked about things that never happened, jokes we never made. It was a code. I spent ages trying to figure it out. It just said. ‘They’re hurting me. Get me out of here.’”

Leijon, you don’t know her first name, and you doubt she would ever tell you, shrugs and leans back in her chair. “Very dramatic and all, but when is the point going to come pawing into this mess?”

“I was getting to it!” You say defensively. You need to wrap this up as quickly as possible, she looks like she’ll pounce on you if you don’t. “I rescued her from the academy, and managed to get as far as Prospero. I hoped to get to Caliban so I could fly home to Juliet.”

“You could’ve just said _that_ instead of making us sit through a sweep of exposition.” Leijon leans back even further in her chair, showing exactly how little she cares about your story.

“Next time you kidnap your sister from a corrupt government academy, I expect you can tell the story how you like,” you snap.

~~~

You wake up and you still don’t know who you are, or what you’re doing there. But there’s a blanket that smells like wonderful red. You bite it and your mouth fills with delicious red. Nothing else matters right now, just you and the red red taste.


	14. Watch it now, no Violence! (Or The Felt and the Fed)

Your name is John Egbert. Dave had a heated discussion you weren’t privy to with Kanaya, probably telling her that she would be unloaded on Caliban as soon as possible. Everyone’s gone back to their posts, and that includes you. A proximity alert blares throughout the ship, and in the privacy of the cockpit you hear the voice of Dave’s brother saying “There’s a gorram ship on my tail, jackass.” For a moment you consider calling it a hún dàn, but that’d get you nowhere. You mute it instead, just as Dave comes in, Rose on his heels. Dave isn’t interested in how to fly, nor how the ship works, that’s the only reason he’s never heard his brother’s little ‘present’.

“Which alarm is it, oil change or we’re all going to die? Or did something fly off my gorram ship again?” asks Dave, trying to peek out the window. You push him away gently.

“Zhù yì, I can’t see with you in front of me. None of those, hopefully, unless it’s…” Looking at the radar, you trail off. “I don't mean to alarm anybody, but I think we're being followed.”

“Who by?” Dave continues to look through the debrishield.

“By who?” Rose and you correct him together on instinct. You share a small smile with her, but it’s interrupted by the proximity alarm.

You brush some of your action figures off of the scanner, being careful not to break them. Oh. Oh shit. “It’s the Felt.”  
  
Dave shoves you away from the scanner forcefully, scattering your figurines so the floor. You scoop them up and put them on the other side, patting Casey on the head as a measure against your panic.

“He’s right.” You wouldn’t joke about that, it was pretty obvious you were right. He prods a switch and the intercom flicks on as the alarm shuts off. “The Felt are following us. Do what you need to, and may heaven have mercy on us all.”

~~~

_Minutes in the past, but not enough to write home about…_

Jack Noir sits tied tightly to the chair, his upper arms chafing against the rope. Your captain and you file into his quarters-turned-prison, shutting the door behind you. His anger at being tied up still gives you a warm feeling. He tried to shoot Jade. He deserves what he gets.

"Now, you're gonna tell us what you know about us, and the Maryam girl." He tilts his shades down at Jack, giving him a long glare. He's never shown you his eyes, so you're a bit jealous. This interloper who we've just met gets to see his secret, but you, his most trusted lieutenant (Rose is his ‘sister’, not his second) have never seen them in the entire time you've been working for him. “And I've given Leijon here the job of finding out.”

There’s a very small moment of silence, then Dave nudges you. You release your claws, they emerge from your fingerless gloves in a flash of hyper-sharp blue alloy. “He was nonspurrcific as to how.”

You feel breath in your ear and you almost commit murder, but it’s Dave, and you can’t do that. He softly says “Remember, you only gotta scare him.”

“Pain is scary!” you shoot back, matching his volume.

“Don’t kill him, preacher’ll get angry.”

“And we wouldn’t want to hurt the preacher’s kitty-bitty feelings!” Your volume increases this time, until you’re shouting.

“Leijon.” He shoots you a similar glare, but still not giving you the privilege of seeing his eyes. “Calm. Down.”

You hate to, but you obey. You only have one line you draw, and this is it. There is one thing you will never do, and that is betray someone who trusts you. Never. Not since he left you alone, alone to fend for yourself, alone to become the most feared mercenary in the Outer Ring, because that was the only way to survive. He left, and you will never forgive him. Him… You try to grab more of that memory before it slips through your fingers, but you do grab one more thing. Blue. You have a flash, of a face, eyes wide open, a grinning rictus. Your eyes start to tear up, but you can’t remember why. You refuse to let them.

You see Dave off, sending him back to his post, promising not to kill Noir, making it clear you only do it for him, not for any preacher, not for some sense of honor, but for his orders alone. Left alone with Jack, you sit down on his bed, slicing his high quality silk comforted with your claws. He doesn’t engage. You ditch that shoddy tactic and make your way behind him, hissing in his ear. “You tell me why you are after the doctor, I don’t hurt you. You tell me why you shot m—Jade, I don’t hurt you. You grab his face by the chin, letting your claws graze his forehead, and shout “You waste my GORRAM TIME? They won’t find enough of you to file claws of death. And that’s what’s impurrtant to you Feds, aint it? Papurrwork. But if I do my job right, they won’t ever find you, and no one will ever know you’re dead.” You sheathe your claws and sit back on his bed.

Noir smiles, even while his red human blood trickles down his face. “You can’t even begin to understand why Miss Pyrope needs to be returned. You wouldn’t be able to know, to hold them knowledge in your head without it splitting open like a banana.”

“What’s—?”

He interrupts you. “Proof right there. You big, dumb thug, There’s only one language you can understand. Money. Miss Pyrope and Doctor Maryam are worth a lot of money. You kill me, there's nothing. But you help me out, you'll have enough to buy yourself a ship better than this ragtag shipwreck, hell, enough to buy a whole planet. Her Imperious Condescension wants these girls bad. And she don’t fool around.”

You keep your face careufully blank. “Would helping you mean turning on the captain?”

He leers. “Yes.”

You stand up and pretend to think about it for a moment then once again, you get very close, right by his face. “Listen to me. Read my lips, if you can.” He obediently leans forward. “No. Fucking. Way.” You punch him. Just a simple punch, no claws, no fancy stuff, you just break has gorram nose. And that’s when the alarm goes off.

~~~

_Back in the present, maybe a few seconds later…_

You are Rose Lalonde, and you finally can look at the beautiful Kanaya Maryam without blushing furiously. This is a good thing, since she and Nepeta have just crashed into the cockpit, causing a similar crunch as earlier’s crowd overseeing Jade’s recovery. John, still sitting at the pilot’s chair sarcastically comments “Oh, of course, qîng jìn, qîng jìn! It’s not like this room is only designed for two people.”

Dave, on the other hand, gets straight to buisiness. “Leijon, did you at least close the door on the Fed?”

“‘Course, I ain’t some kind of Groundpurr.” Grounder (or Groundpurr) is Nepeta’s term for someone who only uses ships as transport, not as a home. In other words, it means an amateaur.

Dave and Nepeta continue their conversation. It involves weapons and technical specifications exchanged too quickly for you to follow. “What did you mean by the Felt?” Kanaya says to John, her fingers twisting the fabric of her long dress. Nepeta leaves, several fingers extended, suggesting she is trying to keep track of what she needs to do.

“Well, what’ve you heard of them?” John dodges the question as nimbly as the breeze.

“Only old stories, gossip, things I heard at school. Humans and trolls alike going mad at seeing the edge of space, and killing everyone in their path.”

“They’re not stores.” You tap the readout, showing her the immediate, dangerous reality facing you.

“What happens if they board us?” Kanaya looks frightened, her body poised to flee.

Dave pipes up from the entrance of the cockpit, “If they take the ship, they’ll distort our time until we’ve always been dead, eat our meat, and sew our skin into the coat they worship. And, if we’re very, very lucky, they’ll do it in that order.”

Kanaya starts trying to speak to you, you start speaking to her, Dave starts giving orders to Nepeta who hurtles in, carrying far too many guns. “If everyone would just be quiet a moment…” John mutters, turning the ship. Of course, nobody is quiet, not even for a moment.

~~~

You should be up there. You’re as much a part of this crew as Jade is and both of you should be there, arguing and fretting. Your tradition robes feel stifling. You miss the time before you were a Companion, when you eked out a meager life in the slums of Tybalt, when you just wore sweatpants and a sweater, no ceremony, no tradition, nobody breathing down your back. No pressure, just survival. Your compatriots in the medbay are eerily silent. The Shepherd has pulled up a chair by Terezi and is praying, Terezi is seemingly indifferent to the world around her, eyes closed, munching on a red blanket. Jade looks at you with concern. She knows you so well, she can tell you’re panicking. You put a hand on her shoulder, the other toying with the flowers you so recently weaved into her hair. You’re going to need to ask for help. You know you can do this with no fear, just acceptance, Jade would never think less of you. “Jade,” you say, feeling almost disconnected from the words “tell me we’re not going to die here.”

She puts her hands on where you are squeezing her shoulder. “We’re not going to die here, Karkat. We’ll get through this, just as we have before! Trust me.” You do, always. You take deep breaths with her. In and out, in and out. This continues, and you lose track of for how long.

Finally, John crackles in over the intercom. “This is your pilot speaking, we have successfully evaded the Felt and the rest of your flight should continue as normal. I hope you’re enjoying your flight, if you aren’t feel free to flush yourself out an airlock! We will be arriving at Marcade shortly. [Thank you]!”

Darkleer exhales. “Thank the Sufferer.”

“What kind of ship does _He_ fly?” asks the previously silent girl, her eyes snapping open, revealing a bright red hue. The same color as your blood.

~~~

As soon as the girl speaks, you are plunged into a flash of recollection. It’s more vivid than anything before. More vivid even than reality. Something is wrapped tightly around your neck, choking you, and your knee is in sharp sharp agony, and someone is standing over you laughing, _laughing_ , ** _LAUGHING_**. Your senses shut down, and when they return, the vision is gone, only the memory of the experience remains. You think you just saw how you died.


End file.
